The tooth fairy did a sterling job first time round but only a short way in and she's already faltering. Thing is, against popular belief, she doesn't actually just work a night shift, effortlessly flying between redundant teeth. It turns out that she's actually busy ALL day long and when it comes to evening collection time is pretty knackered and due to this doesn't always remember/have time/can be arsed to collect every single tooth (apparently).
With all these amazing, magical fantasy figures nothing can happen unless children are fast asleep. Those are the rules. So when your child isn't fast asleep due to been overly excited about the pending visit but you are most certainly ready for bed it can be slightly annoying.
This happened to me recently whilst in tooth fairy mode. At 10pm I crept in the eldest's room to make the swap but kicked a stray toy which woke him. "I was just checking you were asleep darling" Back to my bedroom £1 in hand. Now I know that it's gonna be at least 10-15 minutes before I can try again but I'm soooo tired!!! The hubby promises that he'll do it before he wakes in the morning. 3am I wake and decide to do the swap. Half asleep I make the switch then take a loo stop before crawling back to bed. I drop a full toilet roll down the loo. Spend a little time fishing it out before realising the youngest is behind me asking if it's time to get up. Driving to work the next morning I realise no one even mentioned the sodding tooth.
Also my short term memory is shit so I always forget what responses I've given to the thousands of questions about these mysterious joy givers. However the kids do not and I get quizzed to an inch of my life about my conflicting accounts of where the Easter Bunny lives (does anyone know btw?), if the tooth fairy works alone and how Santa gets in the house.
To make matters worse there isn't even a universal code of conduct as to what the rules are. Resulting in even more questioning and queries as to why Johnny from school gets Christmas presents from both Santa and his Mummy & Daddy. FFS!!
Call me selfish but also it would actually be nice to get some thanks for all the time, effort and money put into being Chief Christmas present provider, Remover of dead teeth and Bearer of Easter treats.
As children get older you can no longer get away with them just accepting your explanation. Last Christmas my eldest clearly assumed that money was no object and Santa could bring whatever he desired. I wanted to quickly squish this assumption but couldn't decide on the spot which was the best course of action so instead just made a mess
Me "Mummy and Daddy have to send Santa money you know"
Eldest "How do you do that?"
Me *Shit Shit Shit "Errrm" *Shit Shit Shit "Daddy does it so you'll have to ask him"
I don't mind keeping the Father Christmas tradition alive. He's our December behaviour weapon, only turns out on Christmas Eve and sticks to the same routine. Top bloke. However the 20 times middle of the night fairy and pointless nothing to do with anything glory stealing Bunny can most certainly do one.
The main man
